Wanna do something? or You free Saturday? Ive had good luck with, Fantastic! because no matter what is happening to me, I am still fantastic in various ways. If the person you're talking to has seen Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog, they'll appreciate the joke. Your feelings are your own and it sounds like What are you doing this weekend? has reached a point where hearing the question adds a ton of negativity to the interaction for you, which might be where this response is coming from? after reading a ton of CAs archives I feel comfortable telling people, Im up to nothing both Saturday and Sunday, and I CANNOT WAIT. I dont know what would do the most damage for NYCs daughter long-term, but I do know that no matter the form it ultimately takes, the preservation of parental lines of dominance into the adulthood of the child will do real damage long-term. It's healthy and doesn't cost a penny. There are at least two distinct why do you ask? which are sadly distinguished only by tone. Thats already happenedshe made a big stink about her dad telling her that they were all going to do something to support me at a time when I was really upset (something that would have taken about an hour of her time). Im well aware of that risk. I have a friend that would ask me what Im doing and when I say, Nothing the next thing is, Well, lets meet for lunch and then irritation and shock when I say Id rather not. The Im entitled to your assistance is the MINOR part of this.). And found myself saying yes more often than I wanted to. Not much fun, but also not optional right now. (Aunt doesnt need to know whether your laundry has reached the point of not going to have clean clothes to wear or not.). "It's going well.". And they come up organicallyI dont invent them just to make her jump through hoops. IDK. :) Hope you like our compilation and try to stay serious ,please . Here we're providing you with some better ways to respond to when your partner or girlfriend says, I hate you when you know they say it jokingly. How To Answer "What Do You Do For Fun?" (With Examples) As unfathomable as it is to me to want to be out and about with other humans pretty much every night, it is unfathomable to them to want to spend a whole weekend under a blanket with a book. Ive been loving all your responses on this thread. Ive got[an alligator to befriend, etc]. Nobody seems to be doing well by this arrangement. I always just say What do you have in mind? It hasnt failed me yet! What are you doing this weekend? Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? Later that evening I find out through facebook that HE went out ice skating, with several of our friends, and he had never even mentioned to me that he was going, let alone asked if I wanted to come too! This is a whole lot easier to get if you see someone do it, but here goes: First of all, your manner while doing this will be constant big beaming smiles of absolute certainty, with big cheery extrovert gestures and rather loud but happy and beamingly-positive voice mannerisms. Oh, surviving, surviving. I too have found that nobody seems offended if I respond with a cheerful: Why? Without answering their question at all. This realization makes me like Tuesdays more.) What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". We need to have lunch soon. Okay, then invite me, and dont hint for an invitation. The asker might want the invitee to give some input on what theyd like to do, but thats not the same as expecting them to do all the planning. After decades of various sorts of problem behavior from my father, I literally hit a brick wall of having had enough, and weve been done ever since. Ive noticed that sometimes when coworkers as me what Im doing theyre really just politely trying to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell me all about their exciting weekend plans. Because everybodys got something. Others also have lives to plan and need to know (cancel event, find someone else, make other plans). Setting that aside for the moment, its apparently *supposed* to go like this: Ive learned a lot of strategies.). All five are initial questions, appropriate for a relatively fast . I do want to clarifyI miswrote: if my daughter says she needs to take some mental health time and thats why she cant spend an hour helping me w/ a family project, thats not fallout worthshes busy. The comment is sometimes a small talk, meant to affirm that we like seeing each other, and sometimes a prequel to an invitation. More and more, Ive been owning that I dont ever have to say yes. 96 views, 2 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 2 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from J.Cano: Law & Order: SVU - Best Episode Make up a lease and sign it. Most of those projects and research were for fanfiction. So if you say Im probably going to that new movie, they dont ask and youre not put on the spot. But why would you feel entitled to her time to help with party favors for a party youre throwing? And it absolutely has a cost, even for him. Its not so much about stopping the question before it comes (pretty much impossible!) I might even be more direct My kids and I need the walk to school for ourselves. Whatever hits them the hardest should work just fine. I honestly dont know how young people are functioning as well as they are, given that. Is it a throwaway social nicety, or a veiled attempt to get you to accept a task or invite? We also told our children when they were growing up that they could use us as an excuse any time they felt pressured or uncomfortable saying no for themselves. If they mean well then they will try to stop when you explain that you prefer to be asked directly. If anyone else runs into this, Im not free on Saturday, so Ill see you some other time! is a perfectly polite and respectful response. I think my aunt asks this question for the same reason you do. The second part of this is being okay evaluating the specific invitations and turning them down if you dont want to do them. Him: Good. [Note to my friend who also reads CA, this is not you ], I tend to do direct invites, sometimes with a range of possible dates, but I have occasionally done the We should do [X] sometime! and had months go by without getting around to organizing [X], even if Ive extended other invitations to the person also interested in [X]. You're supposed to live it and enjoy it. The only exceptions are: 1. You just reminded me of the ex-husband of a friend I used to know. I dont know whether youre being too thoughtful or not thoughtful enough here. Especially as its usually done over text, which (to me) precludes the idea of it being small talk. I didnt feel like talking to her much for several months. At the very least, it makes you feel like the place you live isnt really your homethat youll never belong or be from there, that you have no claim to it. But the thing is that people who were born in other contries than here (Sweden) ask me where Im from all the time. When I tell you Ill be meal planning this weekend thats not an invitation for you to tell me all of your diet ideas and which meals are healthier. I like these types are answers because they have the benefits of: 1. always being true, 2. requiring zero thought (e.g. Im lucky because any plans for the weekend? questions are just small talk (i.e. Getting this question still stresses me out because I feel like I have to work 100x harder to set and enforce said boundaries than if people just asked up front. The bad news is that this question probably isnt going anywhere in our lifetime. This is my reaction. Once upon a time I had a friend. I dont remember why anymore but at some point I agreed to share my google calendar with this friend. I think the idea at first was to make it easier to plan hangouts. The people asking the question are rude and betraying their bigotry. 2. (You could also just say no and keep going, but that can cause conflict with them, which you might or might not want.) And for that age range of teens into mid-twenties, its developmentally normal to not adult well in spaces/tasks/areas of endeavor where they cannot do so unsurveilled by childhood parental authority figures, but to abruptly adult extremely well and competently when freed from that surveillance. (If they meant the invitation) Them : OH! You may also eagerly seize on these options and/or provide some of your own., (2) Hey, Im looking for someone to cat-sit while Im out of town for the next three months. - Joseph Addison - Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. I have actually thought about writing in about this one as well. Its hard to navigate things as just small talk when follow-up questions and comments quickly lead to territory I dont want to discuss. Funny, But True Weekend Quotes That Will Make You LOL So Hard Yes, people use this question for all kinds of reasons, as LW said. In fact, you probably have all of these thoughts when a guy asks, "What are you doing this weekend?". This is one of those times where being okay with yourself and your own boundaries about this will help you deal with other people in a mannerly-yet-assertive fashion. I might not feel quite as entitled to her time, but Id probably still think there were some things I could ask of her that shed be wrong to refuse. I feel like my best friend and I do this back and forth a lot, but thats because we understand there are tiers to plans. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! I just want to jump in to point out that the medium of communication also matters! Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you?" Table of contents: I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside Can't Complain. Honestly, about 90% of *soft* invitations to me fall flatly to the ground because I dont pick up the work of planning, timing and reissuing that invitation. While we're sure there are plenty more things people do for fun, these are some good hobbies to mention: Outdoors activities like rock climbing, hiking, cycling, etc. Ahhhh the family stuff. I used to get really annoyed with this question from my sister, specifically, for the reasons LW gives. You know, I just had a *very* amusing misunderstanding with a facebook friend who was ranting about MLM (which I thought was the wlw type of MLM). What are you doing this weekend? I get the feeling Im not alone, I always thought my relationship with my parents was healthy until I became an adult and now I dread conversations with them. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" - Mom Advice Line Reluctant runners just need a nudge. Which is odd, because if anyone has an aura of genius around them, she does. That being said, I am always happy when I get to tell people that I dont answer that question because the answer gets me stereotyped and it keeps us from getting to know each other as individuals. Lots of commenters here are noting that people ask about weekend plans as small talk. Her Kid: *rings doorbell* again my mum says shall we wait for you? (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) For grocery store cashiers, I keep the answer short: Wet, on a rainy day, or Need more coffee this one particularly for coffee shop baristas, who probably hear it too often. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. I completely agree, it is always best to begin with the intention: I need a babysitter, I am planning a board game evening, I would love to spend time with you and catch up. I'd Be Better if You Asked Me out If I Was Any Finer, I'd Be China Me: No can do. Why do I feel entitled to some assistance or attention from the 24-year-old who lives in my home, taking up space, who pays nothing and does no chores (because shes too unreliable, and Id just be nagging at her, or doing them for her and pissing her off)? I dont feeling hes hitting on me exactly, though I am not answering in a way he likes/expects (am I supposed to be chatty bc Im young-ish and female? (And this is all, of course, assuming I dont want to go. You can try to head it off by always responding with some activity youre doing that could theoretically make you busy if it turns out you need to be busy But frankly if someone is trying to manipulate you then you have a manipulative person problem, not a specific question problem. If you have never phrased commands to her that way, yup, thats on her. There were several problems that led to the death of that relationship, but communication (on both sides) was for sure one of them. Whereas it might feel more awkward/imposing for her, and less for me, to just ask outright, Do you want to go to [event] on [this day]?. Him: You must be doing something. Youre my first choice, but you are not my last hope., (3) So, I know this is a little awkward, but recently Ive realized I like you in a um well, in a romantic way, and I would love it if we could maybe go out on a date sometime and see how that goes? Its a little involved because Mittens needs daily collagen injections and also shes doing primal scream therapy. Then, I asked her, why did she ask ME? On a walk with my dinosaur. But I have made a major effort to train myself to STATE WHAT I WANT first. Its 2018. Good luck! I've Tried, but No One Listens Hopefully Not as Good as I'll Ever Be If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me Okay. Are you willing? or, if Im feeling that Im entitled to demand it, Ill say, are you available? (example: Im not going to react well if you want to play Minecraft instead of helping me wrap the favors for grandpas birthday dinner; if youre getting together with friends, online or IRL, or doing homework, OK). I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. You wonder where he'll take you. Or only if you consider it important? Funny Responses To How Are You Save Image: Shutterstock Somewhere between better and best. My range is from fine, thanks, and you to tired but otherwise good to a real answer but nothing too dark or detailed. Well see you at other times but this ones for us.. Is it just me? Especially if I have reason to suspect its just going to be some variation of wanna hang out? if you have something concrete to suggest, lead with that! Aunt: Good! What about you? Me: Not much, maybe laundry or whatever. Yeah if I like the person and might be into it I usually friend-flirt with a depends on why!. This meme will hilarious remind them. I guess I run with a very specific social crowd and it hasnt occurred to me in a while that its not always doable to say Im going to do CRAFTS ALONE, its going to be awesome. But I used to be in a grad program where people were super competitive, and if I said oh my god Im going to stay in this weekend, Im so peopled-out people would be lowkey mean about how I wasnt networking/studying/running charity marathons enough. Then Ill say Whats up? or Whats going on then? or What did you have in mind?. 4. I dont know? Ze might, but you dont actually need an excuse to not provide free labor on demand. To put it another way, I guess: this is such a normal way to open a conversation that being annoyed by it means that you will be annoyed by a wide variety of people, forever. There have been days when I could be found dancing on the couch and all over the house with this and Bad Reputation on a playback loop, both middle fingers proudly in the air. To me layering (which I definitely do) is more about putting my information out there first and hinting that Ill be chill if you say no, as opposed to initiating the conversation while asking the other person to show their cards first, which feels at the least unfair, and at the most, as you say, like a trap. It avoids (in their mind) making the person feel pressured to commit if they dont actually want to. If you both talk about what to do in the garden (I know you probably dont own one, its an example), is it a conversation like I want to plant radishes Well, I want to plant flowers Fine, then we plant one half with flowers of your choice and one half with radishes and everyone waters everything? Have a very happy weekend! So setting a rent that I would for any other adult is simply not applicable. And Im totally ok with that. Another good script Ive heard for when the person is clearly trying to invite you to something is What did you have in mind?, If theyre small-talking, you can say something like Hopefully relaxing and destressing. Indeed, I often hear it as an attempt to trap me into doing something. Do you feel obligated to help hosting her party when she wants to invite her people over? Rock on, Helen. What is the stuff?? Its not lazy that I did X this week which meant I was in pain by Friday night. Sometimes I might even say, its okay if you dont want to, its not urgent, but I was wondering if you could possibly help babysit Saturday? 'Hope You're Well': Emailing Through a Time of Pandemic (Rememberif she had specific other plans, thats a reasonable excuse. ), but I can tell you that even from that POV, I generally have few expectations of this kind of question. Another option is to have certain chores that a certain person does (e.g. Another get out the LW could use is, Im still figuring out my plans for that daywas there something you wanted us to do together? and then Yes, thatll work, if you want to do the thing, or Hm, I dont think I can fit that in, if you dontno need to specify that the thing that it wont fit into is a day of sitting around in your pajamas and binge-watching things on Netflix. Its okay that sometimes Im in physical pain and need time to recuperate. The conversation can go like this either way and be appropriate and you not be on the spot either way. Every girl loves the rebel without a cause. Sometimes I deal with anxiety all weekend and its hard not to judge myself for that. K- keep a distance from work. This is such a common question, and I have a memory like a sieve, and once or twice replied Nothing much and accepted invitations which ended up double booking myself. +1, Im the same way. Those things influence what I ask of my kid, and they influence how I ask it. I know this is a small complaint, in the grand scheme of things, and I usually handle it by changing the subject to something Im interested in if I *do* feel like conversing. Its not a question I like either, some of which is due to manipulative/pushy people angling for my time/energy like in the letter, and some of it is due to feeling like I have to feign excitement or a more interesting life in order to keep the conversation going, which is draining (IDK if this is an introvert vs extrovert thing or like how some people seem to have no trouble filling the conversation or making their lives sound interesting; I am not one of those people). And it is really freaking wearing on them that people in the UK will correct them if they say theyre British. This is a great one because it invites the other person to tell you something that they want to share. One of my long-time boundaries is I wont date a guy who cant properly carry out an invitation and follow it through. What are you doing - Best ways to answer this question How are you? Tucker makes the case that there is a war against Christians happening in America on 'Tucker Carlson Tonight:' TUCKER CARLSON: You always imagine in your mind's eye that it's evil men who destroy . Two main reasons that I can see: 1) They want to get to know you better and talking about how you like to spend your weekend is often a great way to do that. I also dont hesitate to tell people, Id have to check my calendar, what about you? in response to this kind of question! See also, sometimes when someone is rude or difficult, I will pretend they said something nice or appropriate and respond with a total non-sequitur. All of these. I have some friends who are really passive about planning things and it drives me insane I have started actively responding what did you have in mind? and batting back all their attempts to make me plan the night. !" Theres a great body of research on the pileup of mental stress on the interrupted person, and the habit encourages the interrupter to indulge in constant watching and judging of how another adult spends their R&R downtime, which isnt good for the interrupter either, since it breeds resentment, often of a very petty kind. Indoor Cat raised some good points. (via Shutterstock) 7. To those who suggested building better boundaries with my family: Good advice. Or something. What are you up to this weekend? is an absolutely normal question and learning to use it is not a failure of yourself. What are you doing Thursday is a way to start a convo gently and without losing face, giving the answerer has the option of answering negatively, positively, or neutrally. Thats fair. Take care of your boundaries! No other teller (in this bank, or others that Ive been in) does this. Good luck. But people should take turns is different from someone else should always go first (or for gendered/other status reasons, I should always go first). Just how I like it :). Young women and girls are not stupid. LW, in case youre feeling that so many comments along these lines invalidate your feelings about the question or imply that youre making a big deal out of nothing, I wanted to chime in to say that my reaction to reading your letter was an immediate OMG YES can this question please die FOREVER?!. It leaves me an opening to decline politely once everything has been said. DP: No free time at ALL? Its a conversation starter, and its my choice whether I continue the conversation by answering or by reflecting it back at them. Bonus points if you say something that makes zero sense, but you end up getting your family to look at you like a genius anyway. How to Respond to a WYD Text - Sweety High But if someone says what are you doing tomorrow night and I say painting my toenails in front of Netflix, that leaves me without a graceful out. I personally feel really pressured by the question simply because it puts me in the position of having to say yes or no before I even know what Im saying yes or no to. Plus, young women and girls arent stupid they know that most people will view them as being at the absolute bottom of the dominance pecking order and will resent it if they dont answer questions put to them. See, shes trying to force you to perform niceness and capitulate because its hard to think of a way to get rid of her that wont make you look like a bitch not performing socially-mandatory niceness. Sounds like hes a robot instructed to find out a fun thing the customer is doing later. person: cool yep But its all about context, and thats not the context the LW is talking about. Sometimes I feel like this is just another Hi, how are you? kind of question that can be sort of skipped over. If they play extra coy with me, Ill just be extra cryptic in return. Fine, thanks, and you? Skip the part where you say Ill have to check my calendar or even Im not surejust go ahead and ask them what they have in mind! . My Kid: No (shuts door) The first time I heard this, I wondered who opened my brain while I was sleeping and pulled the song out and put it in a movie soundtrack. So in the next day or two, perhaps on some morning when you leave your house and shes there waiting for you, you tell her, firmly but cheerily with giant beaming smiles that the morning walks will be separate from now on because those are for you to have conversation with your children. Oh, yes, white supremacy/racism in action. 17 Funniest Running Memes - Which One's Do You Relate To? - RunToTheFinish 3. I can vouch for this strategy! Usually, the asker will tell me why they asked after I answer, no matter what the answer is (busy, not busy, dont know). I compared to you older friends of mine I see ruining their relationships with their adult children through constant disrespect, but then being bewildered as to why things are going so badly. You just need to say, like, Oh, not sure yet, how about you?. Funny Bumble Answers #4: Ironic, Nerdy-Cute Guy Can you babysit for me? Oh, Im sorry, but Im visiting my in-laws that day. It can feel and be interpreted as quite awkward/rude/offensive/surprising to respond with just No, I dont want to or No, Im not up for that Of course it would be so much healthier if everyone we interact with had taken Captain Awkward 101: Accepting Refusals Gracefully, but the fact is, for many people its much more comfortable to offer an excuse to soften a no. Hed ask me what Im doing for the weekend and when i started to tell him a selection of my actual plans hed cut me off while I was talking to make fun of how boring or lame I am or some other stupid comment. If I get hungry enough, Ill consider eating them. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. In that case, if they have already said theyre free, they might feel trapped into saying yes; I know I would. LW gets that this is all tied up with threats of violence. I Hope You. I dont find it weird, I think its just whiteness and the safest thing to do is presume white people are going to be like this to some extent, until they prove otherwise. I may need some babysitting Shes asked like this a few times. If I catch myself, before they respond lll clarify what my actual invitation is. It is handy because it has a friendly tone of I dont want to go into detail while still participating in the conversation. IMO the correct answer to we should get lunch some time or lets hang out is actually sure, Saturdays are generally good for me or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther. That question from certain people stresses me too! I would think that any event for which one needs to book a venue and/or hire a caterer would also be the sort of event to which one sends some sort of formal invitation, which is not really the case for the situations the LW describes. Im also annoyed by these questions! And because family members pitch in. People on a dating site who ask what youre up to on Thursday are not literally asking what youre doing Thursday. Go For a Walk: One of the simplest and most fun things on weekends is going out for a walk. , Related the person who just assumes youre doing whatever theyve planned for you because its a family thing and youre family or I asked Z and they said you were free* or What else would you be doing? But I have wondered if I answer with imaginary bf and I have x-plans, if the questions would stop. So the next time your phone rings you will be prepared. Hey, Reddit, how was your weekend? : r/funny They are called Saturday and Sunday." - Anonymous 3. N- New adventure. When I have no plans I tend to respond with some variant of Just chilling, and then if the person offers something that I want to do, I can decide its more fun than chilling, but if I dont want to do it, then its been a long week and I just really need that chill time, you know?

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